I have this friend, let’s name her She. We got “closer” as friends based on something she was unsure of and needed help in. At first, I was genuinely concerned for her and I really wanted to try my best in helping her in any way possible. However, as our relationship progressed, the thing that started off us being “close” was no longer there. She wasn’t unsure anymore, she now just needed someone to express what she felt about the situation she was in because all her other friends weren’t interested enough or maybe they were not helpful enough. Everyday, I would get texts from She about how she needs my help with her situation. Trying to solve her problem really did consume a lot of energy. And, did I mention, she overthinks. A LOT. Turning every possibility to something negative, it was difficult to convince her that it might be something positive instead. So double the energy used up.
As time went by, to her, I was one of her close friends. But, was she one of mine? She told me about almost everything she went through, never really giving me a chance to tell her about what I was going through or was feeling. Did she even care about what I was going through? It was definitely a one-sided relationship.
Slowly, her messages started annoying me. Every time I checked my phone for new messages, her message will surely be there which would always turn my smile upside down. She never really brought positivity in my life.
My friends kept telling me about how she was only using me for her own benefits and she would never be there for me when I need her. So, one day I decided on sharing this mini problem that I had and guess what? She didn’t even bother asking me much about it. She kinda ignored all my messages about my mini problem and started talking about her own problem instead. It was when I actually realised that my friends were somewhat right. It kinda saddened, frustrated & annoyed me how I spent (or maybe wasted) so much time on her, trying to solve her problems when she didn’t even really care about mine.
I wanted to take a break from for a REALLY long time but I just couldn’t bring myself to. After that little experiment about my mini problem, I realised that I really did need a break from her. So, I told her. I told her I needed a break from texting, a break from my phone in general and she supported it. However, after that she continued talking about her own problems, pretending as if I never talked about me taking a break. Therefore, I’ll start ignoring her messages or maybe just reply her much later and talk to her face to face about my break.
Maybe I should’ve just let her know about how I felt about our friendship. Maybe I should’ve never really paid attention to her when she asked me for help. But I do know that if I would’ve followed any of the ‘maybe’s I wouldn’t have felt good about myself.
So, here I am writing this post, expressing how I truly feel about this friendship. I hope this break that I’m about to take from her really helps because I feel it’s really necessary at this point.